Chasing Useless Dreams

Many of us chase fantasies just when we thought they are the biggest dreams of our lives. We all dream of living that grand life which we think can finally let us be the kind of individuals we dream for ourselves. But how do we even know if all the things that we are working hard for are aligned with God’s plans?

On a personal note, I guess it all starts with listening. This blog may have received as much criticism as the praises it has attained but we continue to strive our best to open a free venue of thoughts and reflections that later define who we are. It might also take a shift in which dreams to prioritize that maybe we are skipping on the huge ones that we might think are way too simple like working on goals of honesty, patience, love and wisdom. These may not seem too exciting but these are things that can determine future that is eternal in the long run.

The next time we dream, shall we take the time to ponder first if we have cared to listen to what God’s voice has to say? For us to be able to hear His voice, we must be willing to listen first. And treat it as normal that what we might hear from Him may not always be that comfortable for us. Take time to think of the goals and dreams that will cover the more important aspects of our lives.

We must start learning how to listen to God’s voice first and do our best to obey Him – right at that moment we heard it.

Working Under Grace

It irritates me all too much when I see individuals who always come up with excuses why they do not have any means of earning to feed their family or even when they do not get to find the right job to do. My say to this is that sometimes we always just have too many excuses to come up with when our hearts are not truly set into the goals we are trying to achieve.

These past few days I have been taking my time to work less compared to the seasons of my working life when I wake up early and sleep late writing. I appreciate it greatly when I am given the extra time to rest early, watch television, cuddle my dogs, or even update our blog. But this does not mean that I hate working.

I think working hard and on the double turns bad when we exchange it for other aspects of our lives that weigh far greater than the money we can earn like spending time with our loved ones. At the same time though, it can help to remember that God has nothing against human effort since hard work even honors God. Hard work only becomes a cover up that God cannot provide for our everyday needs when we depend all our lives on our work.

Despite all the perseverance all of us may be showing in these times of economic hardships, it is still important that we have enough rest and a lot of spiritual refreshment. But this should not be an excuse to be lazy. To strike the right balance between working and trusting God is what we need to do along with times of resting as well while trusting Him still.

Just When You Think You Hate Your Mother Or Your Mother Hates You

Remembering our mothers should not be just done each time there is a cause to celebrate Mother’s Day. If you can say I love you freely to your mother or you can hug her anytime, then you are so privileged. But for those who have unhealed relationships with their mother, I know how difficult the process can be. However, it is all worth it when you reach reconciliation.

As a blossoming woman, I can remember a lot of times when I argued a lot with my mother. Didn’t we all reach that point in our lives when we feel that they are trying to control us too much? Now, that I am ‘just like’ a mother to Pio, I actually understand that it was just my mother’s way of intruding in my life to stay connected with her own child. The lesson: Do not take it personal.

When you experience a shift of perspective in your life, you can expect a lot of good difference coming your way. There is nothing wrong for a child to express how they feel towards anything that they disagree about with their parents. In fact, you must congratulate yourself once you see them talking about how they feel. But this does not mean that you should let your children walk over you too and for parents to push your kids around.

It is way much better when it comes to my relationship with my mother right now. The anger that we may have felt for each other was just part of expressing acceptance toward the normal process of finally separating. But once we found ourselves already comfortable with my growing independence as her daughter, we then became close again.

Hope everyone had a nice and sweet Mother’s Day!

Thief in the Night

It is certainly hard to hit the right sense of balance in life; especially when it involves raising a kid who will soon become a stubborn adult like all of us. Lately, I have been getting things from Pio without his knowledge which I think he does not value much. And I have been constantly in the lookout for his possible reactions, attitude, and behavior with what could have been happening around him.

My guess is that he knows I may have kept some of his things already but he just does not want to bring the issue up because of pride. There are just some people out there in the world who always want other people around them feel that they are doing fine even if they aren’t.

Apart from the desire of seeing Pio learn from such things and instances, I find myself learning so much more too. Many of us fail to appreciate and give value even to the small things that we have in our lives. That is why I feel grateful and mature that even the smell of clean sheets, old books, seeing Dori sleep in a big, lifted bed, Tita enjoying our flat TV, Pio already enrolled for school, or the sight of my dogs happily strolling around the house well fed and healthy – all these and more make me feel happy grateful. This is probably because we stumble upon happiness only when we find meaning.

Procrastination is not just the thief of time. It’s the thief of meaning, our happiness and life itself. – Timothy A. Pychyl

No wonder God is also described in the Bible as a thief in the night. It says that Jesus is to come back like a thief in the night, when you least expect it. What would you do if one day you’d wake up to a day that all the things and people you often disregarded and failed to appreciate and value are taken away from you? Just like that, in a snap of a finger.

Or maybe by the time you have finished reading this entry, you are already decided to review your life quick and get back all that once was yours.

Dealing With Cheating

‘Cheating’ can be such a dreaded word to many. We may find a lot of suggestions especially from married couple on how you would handle cheating in relationships, but the truth is that there is no wrong or right answer to it. There are those who never get past the denial stage while some choose a confrontation, forgive and move on. But even the most successful relationships that have forgiven and forgotten still somehow end up in a certain pattern of infidelity. There are others who just simply walk out of the relationship.

The best thing one can do is to take full responsibility for your choice of a partner. Admit it. You may have at one point valued other things above your happiness as a couple. Maybe you have been way too clingy and hard to accept the truth. 

We are not saying that you have yourself to blame above all these. What we mean with taking responsibility is being able to stand up for the role you take in the relationship, take of note of all the lessons learned, forgive and move on, way away from it. You must be able to grow from the experience of loving and that is by learning how to shift from just seeing your relationship with partner as mere attachment but also to an abundant life full of peace of mind, joy and security. 

The key in steering away from cheating in relationships is to figure out the kind of connection you are comfortable with. You should be able to recognize what would work best for you since everyone is unique. And if at one point in your life, you have cheated or been cheated, remember the lessons it taught you. Most often the best lessons in life are the ones that result to total heartbreak.

We wish everyone relationships that are abundant in love and peace this 2011!

*Photo via google images

Wake Up Early, Change Your Life, Reap Rewards

This blog entry is not to go against the ones who do not and will not ever get to wake up early in the morning since they work on a graveyard shift pattern. Meaning – this is for everyone who they think such habits would apply to their own lifestyle.

I used to be a late riser. You will not believe how often I arrive ‘super’ late in the office when I was still a commuter about two years ago. Admit it. To wake up early for a late riser would feel very much the same as being utterly deprived. However, many experts say and even the famous and successful people that waking up early will make you reap rewards you never thought possible out of just doing this simple habit.

Why? Here are the reasons I have discovered and you would too if you would start waking up earlier than the usual, as soon as tomorrow.

• -       Maybe you do not know that when you wake up as early as 5am, you wake up earlier than the rest of the people in the world. 99.9%! Waking up early can surely motivate you to get on ahead of your tasks and widen the lead you have set from others.
• -       I noticed that I have very high productivity each time I wake up and start my day early. If you would experience this yourself, you would realize how mornings are the most ideal ambiance of the day when it comes to peace and serenity. The quietness of this part of each day cannot be defined by words.
• -       When you practice waking up early, you start mastering yourself. It would teach you a great sense of discipline and will make you a lot more organized.
• -       I get to eat breakfast in a relax mode even if I am not a breakfast eater. I even get to have time to clean the entire house before everyone else wakes up.

Start waking up early tomorrow and who knows what kind of change is going to come in your life. You can start off with just waking up around 30 minutes earlier than your usual wake up time and adjust it to a point when you can already wake up at your earliest. If you become unsuccessful with it, then contact me and I will let you borrow our pet pug, Attack. I can be sure he will wake you up as early as 330am with his ass on your face.

Lessons In Life I See Myself Learning Ten Years After

Ten years from now, I will be in my own resort house writing my own books with the view of my own farm. When I grow older, I’d like to tend plants and harvest a variety of crops which would also lead to giving opportunities for people to have work. Ten years from now, I do not want to work hard for the money anymore but instead I would want it to work hard for me. 

By that time, I would like to remember looking back at this post and seeing it true that these will be the major lessons I have learned in the span of that time frame.

How it is to let go. I am sure that when I look back at my twenties, I will not be able to tell the number of times I got angry or frustrated with a person. I will learn that when we get to feel bad over someone or something, we waste time and energy on that negative energy while blocking the positive energy to come into our lives instead.

Do not take things personal for it’s often not about you. I will remember and learn that when others do hurtful things to me, oftentimes it is not about me. In this world, people has a great deal of issues to tackle and when they become incapable of handling these issues, they would project these to you.

Persistence pays off well. I will remember by then that I was persistent in everything I do which means I was busy building daily deposits to my future while the rest are just spending time surfing the Internet or watching the television.

Relationships are great teachers. When you get into a relationship, you see a clear reflection of yourself which in our subconscious is the reflection of our own needs, biases and insecurities. I will learn that it is true when they say you never really get to know real hurt unless you have had your own heart broken in a relationship.

Enjoy everything to its utmost. I will learn that I will be grateful to look back in my twenties without having any feeling of regret with anything that I may have wanted to do and experience in my life. I will never put off things tomorrow that are actually due for today. And that includes not just work, but also happiness, without making a mess out of others’ lives.

Are You 100% Authentic To Yourself and Your Relationship?

For two straight days now, we have been closely watching how Shalani Soledad would do as the co-host of Willie Revillame. For months now, it has been one of the leading topics of every Filipino of what caused the breakup between Shalani and President Noynoy. According to news snippets, PNoy missed Shalani’s pilot episodes and wished her well for her newfound endeavor. Above all these, there is one thing I have to say: regardless of the fact of being public figures, both should be authentic to one’s self. 

To be authentic matters a lot for a relationship to survive. Authenticity is being true to yourself to be true to others. 

Oftentimes, miscommunication becomes the stumbling block in every relationship. And the simple reason why we were not able to give a lucid message is because we are not clear ourselves. For example, you are in a relationship that you think has no future anymore. Then decide for yourself to not extend what is inevitable. ‘No more drama’ as what Mary J. Blige says in one of her songs. It takes a lot of bravery for a confrontation but it will render you a lot of new lessons to learn in life that would bring you closer to yourself even if it means being apart from another person.

Just like in any other aspect of your life that you think is not working anymore, what you have to do is unfasten yourself from it. If it is a clear message that you want to give, then remember that your actions and words must match. Feelings of sadness, fear, bravery, and triumph are all needed to bring you that sense of authenticity that you need for yourself.

In the end, you find something much better that awaits you.

With that, I hope Shalani would improve in the coming days as a host and realize that she exudes the aura of a depressed, love-sick girl who was left behind even if she tries to cover it. Lighten up! :)

And I hope the President would start asking for his PR team to have a strategy on how to keep his love life in private. Honestly, it sounds cheap to hear that most of the news you would hear about our president would be who he is dating next. 

Thanks to Willie. The presence of Shalani as his new co-host mattered more to majority of Filipinos even if Korina Sanchez and Noli de Castro were sent back to anchor TV Patrol.