Knowing When Christ Is The Center of Relationships - Part 1

This blog is upon Dori’s request for me to talk about how one can tell if you have Christ right in the center of your relationship. As what I have told her as well, it would not be that simple to answer and this might lead me to writing a very long blog entry. Hence, we shall make my perception on this as a series of blog entries for the coming days – so as to be consistent with not overwhelming you with too much too chew just on a single day. 

You know Christ is the center of your relationship when:

1 -You concentrate on being the right person instead of finding the right person for you.

It can take you forever in searching for the right person you have always dreamed of and still end up alone. You should focus yourself instead on God’s love and how you can be an effective channel of that love to someone who can be special to you. When you have Jesus in the center of your relationship, you are mindful that the definition of God’s love for you is not searching of how someone else can make you feel. If you do not have God’s love within you first, then it is quite impossible for you to love someone else too. If you love Him first and make Him the center of your life, then He would give you the love of your life without even wasting a drop of a sweat. 

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

*to be continued

Dealing With Cheating

‘Cheating’ can be such a dreaded word to many. We may find a lot of suggestions especially from married couple on how you would handle cheating in relationships, but the truth is that there is no wrong or right answer to it. There are those who never get past the denial stage while some choose a confrontation, forgive and move on. But even the most successful relationships that have forgiven and forgotten still somehow end up in a certain pattern of infidelity. There are others who just simply walk out of the relationship.

The best thing one can do is to take full responsibility for your choice of a partner. Admit it. You may have at one point valued other things above your happiness as a couple. Maybe you have been way too clingy and hard to accept the truth. 

We are not saying that you have yourself to blame above all these. What we mean with taking responsibility is being able to stand up for the role you take in the relationship, take of note of all the lessons learned, forgive and move on, way away from it. You must be able to grow from the experience of loving and that is by learning how to shift from just seeing your relationship with partner as mere attachment but also to an abundant life full of peace of mind, joy and security. 

The key in steering away from cheating in relationships is to figure out the kind of connection you are comfortable with. You should be able to recognize what would work best for you since everyone is unique. And if at one point in your life, you have cheated or been cheated, remember the lessons it taught you. Most often the best lessons in life are the ones that result to total heartbreak.

We wish everyone relationships that are abundant in love and peace this 2011!

*Photo via google images

Healthy Relationships for the New Year 2011

As new beginnings come with the New Year, the journey that we have taken have gradually led us closer to understanding what relationships are truly about. Even while understanding that this world that we live in can be understandably unstable, we cannot help but sometimes be visited with winds of fears and insecurities. Relationships are truly hard enough and issue that come blind us like sandstorms can truly push us away from each other if we will not be strong enough to persist. 

Here are some of the simplest lessons we can share on how you can overcome your fears and be able to come up with a very healthy relationship. 

Create Your Own Definition of What’s Normal. You must stop looking at others and how others successfully live and create their relationships. You must stop doubting if you are doing things right or wrong, or whether you are odd or normal. Just settle for what works for the two of you. 

Consider Your Relationship As A Project. It needs work, time – and lots of these two! Trust may be hard to invest on and hence do it in a very slow manner. Allow it to grow naturally through time for things are much better learned if you both have the willingness to share. 

Put a Halt On Lying. Some may really find this as a god way to avoid problems, issues and conflicts – but believe me; it will just catch up with you in the long run, as a much stronger force, which makes things much worse too. 

Have the Courage to Stop Basing Your Decisions Upon Others’ Approval  Or With What Feels Safe. It is about time that you see things that happen in your relationship within yourself too. If you will fail to believe yourself and practice standing your ground, then it would be impossible too to believe and see that is within your partner in life.

To have a healthy relationship requires a lot of daily perseverance. In the coming year, we might find ourselves struggling, making mistakes and feelings utterly discouraged at times. But we are hoping that all of us would see the relationships that we have in our lives as the source of love, light, trust, happiness, security, sharing growth and the other joys that we desire. Besides, we will never know if we will never take the challenge. You will never have the love you want if you are always afraid to die for it.

The Return of the PIOdigal Son

I have always treated Pio as my own son.  He is 8 years old.

He is the adopted son of my partner, Dori, and we have met since the time that he was as little as 5. Just like any other little boy, he loves cars, Spongebob and hates going to school. He has his own terrible tantrums to the point that he even hits his head on the walls and destroys all his toys when he is not in a good mood. For a year from finishing kinder, he rested for a year from going to school and just had the time of his life – playing every day and watching television – while we both struggle to teach him slowly how to read better and count with homeschooling books for his age.

But now things have changed. With God’s mercy, grace and miracle, Pio is a changed kid. You can compare him to an adult who may have lost his way at one point in his life, but has now gotten to take a good shift of priorities and perspectives. With the help of our dear families’ support and love for him, he has decided to go back to school. He now lives with my mother during weekdays for school and we pick him up over the weekends. He may have been the youngest ‘repeater’ I have known, since he had to finish the preparatory level still. 

Now, he ranks second in his class. He may be the oldest in his class for being a Prep student, but he has earned respect from his classmates and teachers as the ‘Kuya’ in class. Recently, my mother has told us about all of Pio’s special awards in school including Best in Science, Most Respectful, Best in English, Most Neat, Best in Attendance and many more. He has also gotten over being a social disaster as he now looks forward to social events in school like parties and field trips. He listens now and answers with utmost courtesy when there is a problem about his attitude that needs to be confronted and resolved. In short, there is apparent improvement in his EQ level. 

Our whole family wishes nothing but the best for Pio. We look forward to seeing him grow to be a responsible and prosperous person filled with wisdom coming from God. We always tell him that it is not the awards that we are all after, but for him to benefit from the real fruits of education and that is the right set of values that he needs to plant in his heart and reap for a lifetime.

We want him to remain as bubbly and as good looking as he is now. 

We need him to be the person that God wishes him to be as he grows older from now. 

I personally wish that he would drink more milk that his bones need without hesitation so that his height would grow along his age. Until now, he cannot ride the bump car in Enchanted Kingdom alone and the race cart in Festival Mall. :p

Top Local Personalities I Want To Share Drinks On Christmas Of Any Year

Here are the top people I find interesting enough watching whether on television or in the big screen ~ finding them all not just smart, survivors but also very genuine individuals.

I would love to get to hang out and experience first hand the intelligent wit and humor of Tuesday Vargas, Eugene Domingo, and Vice Ganda.

From rags to riches... Coco Martin and Melissa Cantiveros.

These two whom I love listening literally when they talk.. Guillermo Luz and Maria Ressa.

For song compositions, bright concepts, and tips on being a good columnist.. Joey de Leon and Michael V.

For women empowerment.. Attorney Acosta and Judge Delima.

For millionaire tips.. Willie Revillame.

And for pure non-sense talk, when everyone is already drunk.. there's Ariel and Maverick. :)

Who is in your own list?

\m/

How To Become Generous This Christmas Without Spending A Cent

How come we get doubtful or a bit shocked when we are told the phrase ‘I love you’ out of the blue and without a reason? This is the very question I asked myself when I read my younger sister’s text message to me last night that I came to read just when I woke up this morning – 

‘Love you te.’ :)

Maybe we find it strange because we are so used to what we routinely hear or see in our lives which make us become afraid of changes – even the littlest of ones. 

If there’s one best lesson that I loved learning this year as we welcome the new one is becoming emotionally generous. In reality, we do not have to do anything big or daunting if we want our relationships to grow. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple expression of gratitude, a random show of concern and kindness, and a lot more that does not even require money from our bank accounts. 

For as long as we do things with a genuinely pure heart and clean intentions, we get back so much more for ourselves especially when we do not expect things in return. With this, we can be more driven with all the love, courage, faith and positivity that we need in our lives. And this is something that never goes out of stock, especially if you would try giving it out these coming holidays. 

Truly, *the things that are hard to say are usually the most important. 

*Photo and quote credit to tweets today of @samberlin