Monday, December 27, 2010

Healthy Relationships for the New Year 2011

As new beginnings come with the New Year, the journey that we have taken have gradually led us closer to understanding what relationships are truly about. Even while understanding that this world that we live in can be understandably unstable, we cannot help but sometimes be visited with winds of fears and insecurities. Relationships are truly hard enough and issue that come blind us like sandstorms can truly push us away from each other if we will not be strong enough to persist. 

Here are some of the simplest lessons we can share on how you can overcome your fears and be able to come up with a very healthy relationship

Create Your Own Definition of What’s Normal. You must stop looking at others and how others successfully live and create their relationships. You must stop doubting if you are doing things right or wrong, or whether you are odd or normal. Just settle for what works for the two of you. 

Consider Your Relationship As A Project. It needs work, time – and lots of these two! Trust may be hard to invest on and hence do it in a very slow manner. Allow it to grow naturally through time for things are much better learned if you both have the willingness to share. 

Put a Halt On Lying. Some may really find this as a god way to avoid problems, issues and conflicts – but believe me; it will just catch up with you in the long run, as a much stronger force, which makes things much worse too. 

Have the Courage to Stop Basing Your Decisions Upon Others’ Approval  Or With What Feels Safe. It is about time that you see things that happen in your relationship within yourself too. If you will fail to believe yourself and practice standing your ground, then it would be impossible too to believe and see that is within your partner in life.

To have a healthy relationship requires a lot of daily perseverance. In the coming year, we might find ourselves struggling, making mistakes and feelings utterly discouraged at times. But we are hoping that all of us would see the relationships that we have in our lives as the source of love, light, trust, happiness, security, sharing growth and the other joys that we desire. Besides, we will never know if we will never take the challenge. You will never have the love you want if you are always afraid to die for it.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Return of the PIOdigal Son

I have always treated Pio as my own son.  He is 8 years old.

He is the adopted son of my partner, Dori, and we have met since the time that he was as little as 5. Just like any other little boy, he loves cars, Spongebob and hates going to school. He has his own terrible tantrums to the point that he even hits his head on the walls and destroys all his toys when he is not in a good mood. For a year from finishing kinder, he rested for a year from going to school and just had the time of his life – playing every day and watching television – while we both struggle to teach him slowly how to read better and count with homeschooling books for his age.

But now things have changed. With God’s mercy, grace and miracle, Pio is a changed kid. You can compare him to an adult who may have lost his way at one point in his life, but has now gotten to take a good shift of priorities and perspectives. With the help of our dear families’ support and love for him, he has decided to go back to school. He now lives with my mother during weekdays for school and we pick him up over the weekends. He may have been the youngest ‘repeater’ I have known, since he had to finish the preparatory level still. 

Now, he ranks second in his class. He may be the oldest in his class for being a Prep student, but he has earned respect from his classmates and teachers as the ‘Kuya’ in class. Recently, my mother has told us about all of Pio’s special awards in school including Best in Science, Most Respectful, Best in English, Most Neat, Best in Attendance and many more. He has also gotten over being a social disaster as he now looks forward to social events in school like parties and field trips. He listens now and answers with utmost courtesy when there is a problem about his attitude that needs to be confronted and resolved. In short, there is apparent improvement in his EQ level. 

Our whole family wishes nothing but the best for Pio. We look forward to seeing him grow to be a responsible and prosperous person filled with wisdom coming from God. We always tell him that it is not the awards that we are all after, but for him to benefit from the real fruits of education and that is the right set of values that he needs to plant in his heart and reap for a lifetime.

We want him to remain as bubbly and as good looking as he is now. 

We need him to be the person that God wishes him to be as he grows older from now. 

I personally wish that he would drink more milk that his bones need without hesitation so that his height would grow along his age. Until now, he cannot ride the bump car in Enchanted Kingdom alone and the race cart in Festival Mall. :p

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Top Local Personalities I Want To Share Drinks On Christmas Of Any Year

Here are the top people I find interesting enough watching whether on television or in the big screen ~ finding them all not just smart, survivors but also very genuine individuals.

I would love to get to hang out and experience first hand the intelligent wit and humor of Tuesday Vargas, Eugene Domingo, and Vice Ganda.

From rags to riches... Coco Martin and Melissa Cantiveros.

These two whom I love listening literally when they talk.. Guillermo Luz and Maria Ressa.

For song compositions, bright concepts, and tips on being a good columnist.. Joey de Leon and Michael V.

For women empowerment.. Attorney Acosta and Judge Delima.

For millionaire tips.. Willie Revillame.

And for pure non-sense talk, when everyone is already drunk.. there's Ariel and Maverick. :)

Who is in your own list?


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

How To Become Generous This Christmas Without Spending A Cent

How come we get doubtful or a bit shocked when we are told the phrase ‘I love you’ out of the blue and without a reason? This is the very question I asked myself when I read my younger sister’s text message to me last night that I came to read just when I woke up this morning – 

‘Love you te.’ :)

Maybe we find it strange because we are so used to what we routinely hear or see in our lives which make us become afraid of changes – even the littlest of ones. 

If there’s one best lesson that I loved learning this year as we welcome the new one is becoming emotionally generous. In reality, we do not have to do anything big or daunting if we want our relationships to grow. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple expression of gratitude, a random show of concern and kindness, and a lot more that does not even require money from our bank accounts

For as long as we do things with a genuinely pure heart and clean intentions, we get back so much more for ourselves especially when we do not expect things in return. With this, we can be more driven with all the love, courage, faith and positivity that we need in our lives. And this is something that never goes out of stock, especially if you would try giving it out these coming holidays. 

Truly, *the things that are hard to say are usually the most important

*Photo and quote credit to tweets today of @samberlin

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My Official Christmas Wish List for 2010 Holidays

It is seldom that I come up with my own Christmas wish list. But I have decided to make one to welcome December right. Here goes:

1. Women's topsider or any Preppy Women's Boat Shoe. I want to have a comfortable pair of walking shoes aside from my all time, immortal rubber shoes and Birkenstock slippers.

2. A Sportswatch - I already have both gold and silver watches for formal and semi-formal attires. Never had a reliable waterproof sportswatch for our travels.

3. White Mountain Bike. It's been two years since I last aimed to buy a bike like this one. It's about time.. :)

4. A thinner and junior sized acoustic electric guitar. I have been planning to sell my old Fernando guitar this year to get a new one.

5. iPod Classic. I am writing this while singing 'Don't stop believing..'. Always aimed with buying one for myself, always failed.

6. Hot and Cold Shower. To blow those cold shoulders and feverish nights away.

7. Marks and Spencer Gathered Top (3/4 sleeve). I have never followed up on buying another one for myself due to budget constraints. 'Heaven' - that's the feel of the Marks and Spencer clothing material.

8. New Book. It's been years, I think, since I last went inside any Powerbooks branch. Would love to have this one.

That's just about it. It's not always about the money, but c'mon.. everyone loves cash.

23 days before Christmas.  :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Placing Back Where They Belong

If there’s one thing that I have greatly realized with Pio’s presence in my life is to appreciate more how we have been raised. We may not spend everyday together just like before but at least, every weekend, I try to not miss an opportunity to teach him new things from his own ways.

Yesterday, he felt excited with the idea of cleaning things with an old toothbrush. He watched me scrub the huge rock for our turtles’ basking area and after a few minutes, he was already scrubbing his own toys with the toothbrush. To reach the sink, he took a small stool to step on which he got from the terrace. After he was done with his seemingly interesting activity, he left all his things in the bathroom. 

Our lesson 101? Place back all the things you used where you took them. I told him to place back the small stool back in the terrace and the old toothbrush under the sink so that no one will mistakenly use it. At first, he questioned why he should do it and eventually pretended that he did not hear me. I told him that it is part of growing up well. 

That if he takes something from a certain place, he should return it back to that very same place – that’s called organization. That if he borrows something from another person, he should return it in its best condition still – that’s called accountability. That if he uses the help of someone or the benefit of something, he should not leave it ‘just like that’ after he has benefited already from it – that’s called gratefulness

And for us adults, I saw how this should greatly affect our relationships and spiritual lives. Whenever God’s glory is shared to us, we should not be so irresponsible to just leave and drop it or claim everything to ourselves once we feel fulfilled, praised and exuberant inside. We should be responsible enough to bring back all the glory to Him as the Creator of all things, including our own mere selves.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Searching for Real Connections

I am never the type who is still able to write in the middle of being feverish and sick. Hence, the absence of a blog post for yesterday. 

And I am and was never the type who hangs out with too many friends. I have had only a few in high school and that goes the same for college. And as I was growing older, I realize that it is genuinely more fun to have my family as my ‘tropa’. Yes, believe it or not, they are the ones I get together with, talk, laugh, cry and drink with, every weekend at least – my brother, sister, sister-in-law, boyfriend of my sister, Dori, and sometimes even my mom. 

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck

I have given up casual friends and acquaintances a very long time ago. But it is not as to say that I ‘really’ gave them up, it is just that I do not have plans of getting together with them. I would enjoy the interaction if I would bump into them, but that’s it.

I guess my point here is the real essence of connections in relationships. As I was growing older, I wanted to hang out with people who know and like themselves – making them very comfortable with their very own skin. It is only with these people that you can be totally yourself too. I enjoy my own family’s eccentricity once in a while and they are the only ones who can understand my own quirkiness too. 

Healthy relationships and people delight in differences for beneath the surface, we connect. Connection is the thing that makes a place for you to grow, make mistakes, and flourish. This place is where you can be utterly silly, loosen up your self-consciousness, take down your inhibitions that separate you from another person. 

So how do you know if there is connection between you and another person? Simple. Ideal connections will make you feel loving. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Shoo Monday Sickness Away

I know. It feels hard to start the week. Almost everyone has experienced and still experiencing the so-called ‘Monday Sickness’. But it is very important to remember that this should be our most energized day since, ideally, we should have taken enough rest already yesterday, being a Sunday. Besides, I learned from the last book I summarized that most people who do not treat their Mondays good experience heart attack during Monday mornings, between 8 to 9 am. 

Here are some life tips you can use to help you get your human machine all warmed up and ready for work, school, and for what is about to come for the rest of the week. 

Build up that competitor spirit in you. Most of us get challenged when we feel somehow like we are in a competition. Imagine such an ambiance so that you will not have lazy bones every start of the week.

There’s nothing wrong with starting small. Instead of always promising that you will start on your work this weekend or so and failing yourself again and again; start small instead before you promise yourself and others of accomplishing huge deeds. 

Listening to music can keep you focused. This is very true especially for work that requires cerebral activities. Listen to whatever kind of music that makes you feel comfortable. 

Be accountable. Whether it is good or not, we do better when we know someone is watching us, a boss, a colleague, your family, etc. 

Reward yourself. When you do not deprive yourself of rewards, big or small, you will be amazed how much the next difficult task would be something you would desire for instead of staying away from it. 

Above all, you should realize that no matter how much you work hard for the money, it all comes back to doing what you love doing. Nothing else can be a better motivator than that. 

Friday, November 19, 2010

Wake Up Early, Change Your Life, Reap Rewards

This blog entry is not to go against the ones who do not and will not ever get to wake up early in the morning since they work on a graveyard shift pattern. Meaning – this is for everyone who they think such habits would apply to their own lifestyle.

I used to be a late riser. You will not believe how often I arrive ‘super’ late in the office when I was still a commuter about two years ago. Admit it. To wake up early for a late riser would feel very much the same as being utterly deprived. However, many experts say and even the famous and successful people that waking up early will make you reap rewards you never thought possible out of just doing this simple habit.

Why? Here are the reasons I have discovered and you would too if you would start waking up earlier than the usual, as soon as tomorrow.

  • -       Maybe you do not know that when you wake up as early as 5am, you wake up earlier than the rest of the people in the world. 99.9%! Waking up early can surely motivate you to get on ahead of your tasks and widen the lead you have set from others.
  • -       I noticed that I have very high productivity each time I wake up and start my day early. If you would experience this yourself, you would realize how mornings are the most ideal ambiance of the day when it comes to peace and serenity. The quietness of this part of each day cannot be defined by words.
  • -       When you practice waking up early, you start mastering yourself. It would teach you a great sense of discipline and will make you a lot more organized.
  • -       I get to eat breakfast in a relax mode even if I am not a breakfast eater. I even get to have time to clean the entire house before everyone else wakes up.
Start waking up early tomorrow and who knows what kind of change is going to come in your life. You can start off with just waking up around 30 minutes earlier than your usual wake up time and adjust it to a point when you can already wake up at your earliest. If you become unsuccessful with it, then contact me and I will let you borrow our pet pug, Attack. I can be sure he will wake you up as early as 330am with his ass on your face.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

‘The Noticer’, A Book Review

This book review has been long overdue and I know that it is still worth sharing. The Noticer is a moving story about a mysterious old man with the name of Jones. He paid a visit to the tiny Gulf coast town for a good number of years with the purpose of helping other people with their life’s problems by offering them a fresh ‘perspective’. Andy was one of those people. His life was completely turned around by the likable man from being an orphan to an amazing motivational speaker and author. 

The old man would somehow always show up at the perfect time, when the person needs it the most. He always wears jeans and a white t-shirt; and carries a brown leather suitcase. However, he disappears as fast as he came. Jones calls himself as ‘The Noticer’, henceforth, the title of the book. Andy Andrews, the author, wrote this book to give way and appreciation for the role that the old man played in his life and to make it a sure encouragement to others too. 

The book is written in a very intimate narrative that would make you feel by its end that you have met Jones yourself. It offers pragmatic and genuine advice that anyone, like you, can use all the more in meeting different kinds of people in your life and be able to build stronger relationships

As part of the Noticer Project of the author, it would be reflective to think and ‘notice’ on your own the top five most influential people in your life. Who are they?

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