Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Placing Back Where They Belong

If there’s one thing that I have greatly realized with Pio’s presence in my life is to appreciate more how we have been raised. We may not spend everyday together just like before but at least, every weekend, I try to not miss an opportunity to teach him new things from his own ways.

Yesterday, he felt excited with the idea of cleaning things with an old toothbrush. He watched me scrub the huge rock for our turtles’ basking area and after a few minutes, he was already scrubbing his own toys with the toothbrush. To reach the sink, he took a small stool to step on which he got from the terrace. After he was done with his seemingly interesting activity, he left all his things in the bathroom. 

Our lesson 101? Place back all the things you used where you took them. I told him to place back the small stool back in the terrace and the old toothbrush under the sink so that no one will mistakenly use it. At first, he questioned why he should do it and eventually pretended that he did not hear me. I told him that it is part of growing up well. 

That if he takes something from a certain place, he should return it back to that very same place – that’s called organization. That if he borrows something from another person, he should return it in its best condition still – that’s called accountability. That if he uses the help of someone or the benefit of something, he should not leave it ‘just like that’ after he has benefited already from it – that’s called gratefulness

And for us adults, I saw how this should greatly affect our relationships and spiritual lives. Whenever God’s glory is shared to us, we should not be so irresponsible to just leave and drop it or claim everything to ourselves once we feel fulfilled, praised and exuberant inside. We should be responsible enough to bring back all the glory to Him as the Creator of all things, including our own mere selves.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Searching for Real Connections

I am never the type who is still able to write in the middle of being feverish and sick. Hence, the absence of a blog post for yesterday. 

And I am and was never the type who hangs out with too many friends. I have had only a few in high school and that goes the same for college. And as I was growing older, I realize that it is genuinely more fun to have my family as my ‘tropa’. Yes, believe it or not, they are the ones I get together with, talk, laugh, cry and drink with, every weekend at least – my brother, sister, sister-in-law, boyfriend of my sister, Dori, and sometimes even my mom. 

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck

I have given up casual friends and acquaintances a very long time ago. But it is not as to say that I ‘really’ gave them up, it is just that I do not have plans of getting together with them. I would enjoy the interaction if I would bump into them, but that’s it.

I guess my point here is the real essence of connections in relationships. As I was growing older, I wanted to hang out with people who know and like themselves – making them very comfortable with their very own skin. It is only with these people that you can be totally yourself too. I enjoy my own family’s eccentricity once in a while and they are the only ones who can understand my own quirkiness too. 

Healthy relationships and people delight in differences for beneath the surface, we connect. Connection is the thing that makes a place for you to grow, make mistakes, and flourish. This place is where you can be utterly silly, loosen up your self-consciousness, take down your inhibitions that separate you from another person. 

So how do you know if there is connection between you and another person? Simple. Ideal connections will make you feel loving. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Shoo Monday Sickness Away

I know. It feels hard to start the week. Almost everyone has experienced and still experiencing the so-called ‘Monday Sickness’. But it is very important to remember that this should be our most energized day since, ideally, we should have taken enough rest already yesterday, being a Sunday. Besides, I learned from the last book I summarized that most people who do not treat their Mondays good experience heart attack during Monday mornings, between 8 to 9 am. 

Here are some life tips you can use to help you get your human machine all warmed up and ready for work, school, and for what is about to come for the rest of the week. 

Build up that competitor spirit in you. Most of us get challenged when we feel somehow like we are in a competition. Imagine such an ambiance so that you will not have lazy bones every start of the week.

There’s nothing wrong with starting small. Instead of always promising that you will start on your work this weekend or so and failing yourself again and again; start small instead before you promise yourself and others of accomplishing huge deeds. 

Listening to music can keep you focused. This is very true especially for work that requires cerebral activities. Listen to whatever kind of music that makes you feel comfortable. 

Be accountable. Whether it is good or not, we do better when we know someone is watching us, a boss, a colleague, your family, etc. 

Reward yourself. When you do not deprive yourself of rewards, big or small, you will be amazed how much the next difficult task would be something you would desire for instead of staying away from it. 

Above all, you should realize that no matter how much you work hard for the money, it all comes back to doing what you love doing. Nothing else can be a better motivator than that. 

Friday, November 19, 2010

Wake Up Early, Change Your Life, Reap Rewards

This blog entry is not to go against the ones who do not and will not ever get to wake up early in the morning since they work on a graveyard shift pattern. Meaning – this is for everyone who they think such habits would apply to their own lifestyle.

I used to be a late riser. You will not believe how often I arrive ‘super’ late in the office when I was still a commuter about two years ago. Admit it. To wake up early for a late riser would feel very much the same as being utterly deprived. However, many experts say and even the famous and successful people that waking up early will make you reap rewards you never thought possible out of just doing this simple habit.

Why? Here are the reasons I have discovered and you would too if you would start waking up earlier than the usual, as soon as tomorrow.

  • -       Maybe you do not know that when you wake up as early as 5am, you wake up earlier than the rest of the people in the world. 99.9%! Waking up early can surely motivate you to get on ahead of your tasks and widen the lead you have set from others.
  • -       I noticed that I have very high productivity each time I wake up and start my day early. If you would experience this yourself, you would realize how mornings are the most ideal ambiance of the day when it comes to peace and serenity. The quietness of this part of each day cannot be defined by words.
  • -       When you practice waking up early, you start mastering yourself. It would teach you a great sense of discipline and will make you a lot more organized.
  • -       I get to eat breakfast in a relax mode even if I am not a breakfast eater. I even get to have time to clean the entire house before everyone else wakes up.
Start waking up early tomorrow and who knows what kind of change is going to come in your life. You can start off with just waking up around 30 minutes earlier than your usual wake up time and adjust it to a point when you can already wake up at your earliest. If you become unsuccessful with it, then contact me and I will let you borrow our pet pug, Attack. I can be sure he will wake you up as early as 330am with his ass on your face.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

‘The Noticer’, A Book Review

This book review has been long overdue and I know that it is still worth sharing. The Noticer is a moving story about a mysterious old man with the name of Jones. He paid a visit to the tiny Gulf coast town for a good number of years with the purpose of helping other people with their life’s problems by offering them a fresh ‘perspective’. Andy was one of those people. His life was completely turned around by the likable man from being an orphan to an amazing motivational speaker and author. 

The old man would somehow always show up at the perfect time, when the person needs it the most. He always wears jeans and a white t-shirt; and carries a brown leather suitcase. However, he disappears as fast as he came. Jones calls himself as ‘The Noticer’, henceforth, the title of the book. Andy Andrews, the author, wrote this book to give way and appreciation for the role that the old man played in his life and to make it a sure encouragement to others too. 

The book is written in a very intimate narrative that would make you feel by its end that you have met Jones yourself. It offers pragmatic and genuine advice that anyone, like you, can use all the more in meeting different kinds of people in your life and be able to build stronger relationships

As part of the Noticer Project of the author, it would be reflective to think and ‘notice’ on your own the top five most influential people in your life. Who are they?

Monday, November 15, 2010

Lessons In Life I See Myself Learning Ten Years After

Ten years from now, I will be in my own resort house writing my own books with the view of my own farm. When I grow older, I’d like to tend plants and harvest a variety of crops which would also lead to giving opportunities for people to have work. Ten years from now, I do not want to work hard for the money anymore but instead I would want it to work hard for me. 

By that time, I would like to remember looking back at this post and seeing it true that these will be the major lessons I have learned in the span of that time frame.

How it is to let go. I am sure that when I look back at my twenties, I will not be able to tell the number of times I got angry or frustrated with a person. I will learn that when we get to feel bad over someone or something, we waste time and energy on that negative energy while blocking the positive energy to come into our lives instead.

Do not take things personal for it’s often not about you. I will remember and learn that when others do hurtful things to me, oftentimes it is not about me. In this world, people has a great deal of issues to tackle and when they become incapable of handling these issues, they would project these to you.

Persistence pays off well. I will remember by then that I was persistent in everything I do which means I was busy building daily deposits to my future while the rest are just spending time surfing the Internet or watching the television.

Relationships are great teachers. When you get into a relationship, you see a clear reflection of yourself which in our subconscious is the reflection of our own needs, biases and insecurities. I will learn that it is true when they say you never really get to know real hurt unless you have had your own heart broken in a relationship.

Enjoy everything to its utmost. I will learn that I will be grateful to look back in my twenties without having any feeling of regret with anything that I may have wanted to do and experience in my life. I will never put off things tomorrow that are actually due for today. And that includes not just work, but also happiness, without making a mess out of others’ lives.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Relationships 101 Is Out: Partnership 101 Is In

Partnership. This has been the term I have constantly attached to the word ‘relationship’ since I met Dori. Apart from the fact that I never really made it well with my past so-called ‘relationships’, I learned with the person that I am with now the more solid values that serve as keys to a successful relationship. It is quite unnerving to be always asked why I am still single and give me that dubious look of what I am up to. But never was I moved especially when I always ponder of how much luckier I see myself than the others my age who are either too young to have kids and too old to be flirting around still. 

I learned through time that it does not matter how much you would view a relationship to be but to see it as a breathable avenue for dynamism and growth. I may have failed before a few times and so, because I have not been fully aware of the characteristics that I need to take the time to appreciate and learn. 

With honesty, trust, communication, respect, resolution of conflict, responsibility, being your real selves, romance and humor, you can definitely see the bright light of a successful relationship shining through you. Respect and humor are often the underrated characteristics but in reality, play a huge impact on what we make out of the relationships we are in. 

I still get the usual question of when I would get married or when will I have my own kids. I am yet to reach my thirties, but I don’t give a damn. I’d always wish to be the person that I am now rather than be a slouchy housewife too busy with her kids and husband to even remember herself still. Or be a striving single mom who works hard for the money alone just for mere survival. 

I am happy. That is what relationships should make you feel so. That’s what’s important. 

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Are You 100% Authentic To Yourself and Your Relationship?

For two straight days now, we have been closely watching how Shalani Soledad would do as the co-host of Willie Revillame. For months now, it has been one of the leading topics of every Filipino of what caused the breakup between Shalani and President Noynoy. According to news snippets, PNoy missed Shalani’s pilot episodes and wished her well for her newfound endeavor. Above all these, there is one thing I have to say: regardless of the fact of being public figures, both should be authentic to one’s self. 

To be authentic matters a lot for a relationship to survive. Authenticity is being true to yourself to be true to others. 

Oftentimes, miscommunication becomes the stumbling block in every relationship. And the simple reason why we were not able to give a lucid message is because we are not clear ourselves. For example, you are in a relationship that you think has no future anymore. Then decide for yourself to not extend what is inevitable. ‘No more drama’ as what Mary J. Blige says in one of her songs. It takes a lot of bravery for a confrontation but it will render you a lot of new lessons to learn in life that would bring you closer to yourself even if it means being apart from another person.

Just like in any other aspect of your life that you think is not working anymore, what you have to do is unfasten yourself from it. If it is a clear message that you want to give, then remember that your actions and words must match. Feelings of sadness, fear, bravery, and triumph are all needed to bring you that sense of authenticity that you need for yourself.

In the end, you find something much better that awaits you.

With that, I hope Shalani would improve in the coming days as a host and realize that she exudes the aura of a depressed, love-sick girl who was left behind even if she tries to cover it. Lighten up! :)

And I hope the President would start asking for his PR team to have a strategy on how to keep his love life in private. Honestly, it sounds cheap to hear that most of the news you would hear about our president would be who he is dating next. 

Thanks to Willie. The presence of Shalani as his new co-host mattered more to majority of Filipinos even if Korina Sanchez and Noli de Castro were sent back to anchor TV Patrol.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

We Are In Love

It was just last Saturday when we met him. And at first sight, we fell head over heels for him. He is all that you would look in a guy.. smart, funny, adorable and ‘macho’. His name? Attack. He is our newest pet male pug.

Many think that having a pet is a very easy thing to do especially when you think about the joy and love it can bring to you. But it really entails a lot of accountability when you get to take care of one. And what most somehow disregard are the life and relationship skills that we can learn from taking care of a pet.

Being Responsible
Your pet is counting on you to render whatever it is that they need. Feeding and grooming them are just two of the things that can deepen your relationship with each other.

It really takes a lot of patience to be consistent with training your pet to do the right things around the home. Just like in life, it teaches you that all these can really pay off in the end.

Setting Goals
It teaches you how to set goals with a time frame especially when you want to teach them some tricks or maybe as a simple as house training. 

Becoming a Good Communicator
Having a pet will teach you how to express your feelings well since you need to talk to your pet and show mush every once in a while.

Above all, there is kindness. To have a pet is one effective way to practice kindness and compassion, especially when it finally gets to you that you should treat it just the same as you would treat your dearest friends and family.

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