Wednesday, November 3, 2010

For the Commitment Phobics

I used to have a problem with sustaining intimate relationships. A lot of psychological tests I have taken before say I have commitment issues. Many studies say it could be traced back to my childhood days when I have always seen the woman in the family as the stronger persona than the males. I used to blame the relationship itself.

But through time I learned that I am the only one responsible to make the difference in a particular relationship. I felt that when I became open and ready for commitments, my criteria expanded and I became more specific. I gradually discovered what would work for me after all the times I have had my heart broken or suffered in relationships that I can never even count as the ‘relationship’. In short, there are truly good rewards behind every lesson learned.

We must understand that when we start understanding our own hearts, we learn how to forgive and be compassionate. And it is only by this time, that we can offer such to another person without disregarding to take care of ourselves. Suddenly, you learn how to share your innermost feelings to just one person and regard it as honorable to stand by each other’s word. You have gained sufficient self esteem that you know already that it is better to walk away than hurt someone knowingly.

Believe me. If you do not like yourself and for as long as you are never comfortable with your own skin, then you will never ever be able to learn how to commit. It would continue to seem that the right person still has not come yet for you. When the truth of the matter is, you are the one who is not being right with yourself.

Are you in a relationship? What are your preferences? Remember that the properties or financial wealth of another person do not complete the equation in you. For when the lights go out at the end of each day, there is just the two of you and it is commitment and love that would bind you.

1 comment:

  1. This is a very good realization. You are correct, we must love ourselves first, it is only then that we will be happy with another in our life. Other people don't make us happy, if we think we will be happier because of a relationship than we are already starting at a deficit.


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