Walkway Reflections

Dori says...

I am a sinner. I have nothing to be proud of when I let sin run my life.

Thank you Jesus for not saying no to God's will and for cleansing my sins for me. You died for me.

From this day forward, I pledge to follow your example. I will carry my own cross and be Your reflection to others as well.

Help me Jesus. Come into my heart and send your Holy Spirit to guide me and keep me faithful amidst the temptations of this world.

I am nothing without you my Lord. I bring you back all the glory and honor for all that life is offering me right now.

I know you love me dearly and you continue to teach me valuable lessons everyday. May I always be open and ready to receive all your blessings.

I am under your powerful grace. I surrender to you all that I have and believe with all my heart that you will unceasingly provide for all that I need.

My hope is in you oh Lord. I am your servant. Make me worthy of joining you in eternity.

I dare not challenge your will. I surrender.

With you, all things are possible. I believe in miracles. I believe in your mighty love.

I wrote this spiritual letter a decade ago and still remains my favorite of all love letters I have written to the Lord. There are really just moments when I feel like reading my love letters to Him again..

My Abba Father, My God,

I come to You broken.

I need You to pierce my inner man with Your goodness and recover me with compassion.

I have delved myself deeply into the world's muddy waters. I have eaten its lust and have slowly felt the worms eating what's left of me.

Shame is such a shameful word. But hope is what You offer. You specialize in giving Your people fresh starts, new beginnings.

I am so tired.

I need strength that comes from You alone. The strength that would hold my head up high and lead my feet to steady ground and the rock that's higher than high.

Take me from this puddle of mud and make me whole again. Begin from creation; breathe life into my soul.

There is a need for my spirit to stretch and take stride.

I am human. But You are God.

I commit mistakes. But You forgive.

Bury everything which is not pleasing to You.. for all that I have put You wrongly through. Let it be forgotten.

Put a new song in my heart and a shining perspective to my life.

Forgive me Father.

Bless me.

For a while I have forgotten You, or maybe ignored what's about you intentionally.

But You never did the same to me. You know me.

You never misspelled my name. A-U-J-A-N.

And You never mispronounced it. not even once.

In J-e-s-u-s' name,

Amen.

30 Days of Stress Transformation - Day 1

Dori says...

Stress. We hear it everyday from TV commercials promoting vitamins or energy drinks that will ease it and actually verbalizing it as we go through our day at work or at home. A person without stress anyway is one who refuses or chooses not to grow and remain stunted, so next time you feel stressed, flaunt it. But stress is not at all hazardous if we learn to manage it well and use it as an opportunity to advance like a hard push when we feel stagnant and an electric shock for us to be awakened and become fully alert.

I've come across this interesting series called One Moment Meditation by Martin Boroson aimed at managing our everyday stress with just simple and easy to do instructions for 30 days. So today we are starting this journey and hope by the end of the course, we will learn to spell PEACE by heart amidst the elements of stress lurking in our day.

Day 1: Introducing the Basic Minute

1. Find a place of solitude.

2. Sit down.
3. Place your legs in a relaxed but fixed position.
4. Sit up.
5. Set your alarm for exactly one minute.
6. Place your hands in a relaxed but fixed position.
7. Close your eyes.
8. Focus all your attention on your breathing.

AFTERMATH: This was not easy at all. For a second or two I was able to concentrate on my breaths, inhaling..exhaling, but in between thoughts about what we would have for dinner or have I fed Pio's turtle were rampaging and distracting me. I was able to sit still, though. So I guess I still need the remaining 29 days of the course :D

“We could say that meditation doesn't have a reason or doesn't have a purpose. In this respect it's unlike almost all other things we do except perhaps making music and dancing. When we make music we don't do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point. And exactly the same thing is true in meditation. Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment.”

-Allan Watts

Auj says..

I have always believed that it is never easy to have a silent mind, especially for someone whose mind is as active as mine. But it is through the power of meditation as well that I get to acquire three important benefits: a more focused concentration, another window of positivity opened in my life, better knowledge of myself, and believe it or not, a much better health.

With another journey to take, this time in the world of meditation, it is such a privilege to have the opportunity to quiet things down every once in a while in my life and hear the more powerful things we ought to hear when we fall silent, ironically speaking.

AFTERMATH: This first step made me realize that the word “I” goes far deeper. Simply saying, that I am no slave even to my own thoughts. That no matter how hard we try to strive in setting a time for meditation, it is still a very spontaneous action. My mind has always been used to life’s twisted complications. This is the perfect time to unlearn the habits that have always deceived us to be something good.

Gratitude Challenge: Day 21

We have a problem. 'Congratulations.' But it's a tough problem. 'Then double congratulations.'

-- W. Clement Stone

Auj says...

I guess when you have reached the finish line, there's nothing much to say.. but to savor all the learnings, the hard work and the tough times that you have to get through before you achieve the winnings.

If there's one most important thing that I have learned with this gratitude challenge is to learn to live my life again, one bite at a time. One kiss, one love.

Like what the rest of the positive thinkers in the world say: The end is just the beginning. :)

Kudos!

Dori says...

I just have two simple reflections at the end of this wonderful Gratitude challenge..

First, how we value time is reflective of how we honor life. Sometimes we get caught in physiological and emotional swamps that make gratefulness such a huge challenge. When things get rough and we're physically and mentally worn down, it's never easy to maintain that thankful aura and not let our faith wax and wane, but when we do soak ourselves in gratitude despite the difficult circumstances, when we focus on what's going great instead of what's wrong or lacking at the present moment, a spiritual shift happens and definitely there is clarity once more. A renewed spirit springs up.

It only takes for us to savor and cherish the wonderful times that life is treating us well and concomitantly be wary and receptive during times when it seems the devil's advocates are busy testing our very core.

Second, that time is getting shorter everyday and any moment we might leave this world with all the catastrophes going around. So after this challenge, I vow to travel light, take full swing of the ropes I'm given, be ready to meet my Creator anytime, and spread His word to as many as I can.

This challenge has profoundly deepen my outlook and I consider this such an accomplishment for us. Thank you Auj for always helping me fill up the empty spaces and for simply being there. ;-*

Gratitude Challenge: Day 20

The alchemists spent years in their laboratories, observing the fire that purified the metals. They spent so much time close to the fire that gradually they gave up the vanities of the world. They discovered that the purification of the metals had led to a purification of themselves..

- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Auj says...

A gratitude message to Myself

You can only take so much. But still it’s that much. It is uncommon for anyone to be able to handle what you always dread. When everything seemed too bad for a news. But still, you remain grateful.

You wake up sometimes thinking if you could be normal. To just get out of bed, work not for the money alone, love without the intention of hurting or getting hurt, and live for just yourself – even just for once.

But you are born to this world different. Apart. Extraordinary. Dissimilar. You may feel down about it sometimes, but regardless, you should be grateful.

I know sometimes you just feel like wanting to seek what you want, do it without worrying about others’ feelings, or struggling to do what’s right. What is perceived as right.

I know sometimes that you just wish that you won’t be the one responsible to hold things together, but just be a part of those which should be held.

Thank you for being such a tough b*tch. I am grateful for being you. Regardless. :)

Dear Dori,

You've come a long way. Congratulations on the tougher faith, loyalty, patience, courage and resilience manifesting in your life right now.

Be delighted in the treasures bestowed upon you of unwavering love, stronger bonds and family ties. Take pride in your commitment to relationships, priorities and work.

Continue to find blessings hidden in every adversity and ever grateful for the joy of accepting life as it is, as it happens.

Give yourself a pat on the shoulder for the little triumphs everyday where you've grown in character and wisdom.

Spread the love virus to practically every being you encounter and reflect the Lord's goodness. May kindness be your middle name.

Hold on to your dreams and keep focused on them as they are your driving force to wake up revved up in the morning.

Remain believing in yourself and relying firmly in the Lord's mighty hand to assist you in every endeavor.

You are a champion in God's eyes. Remember that always.

Love,

Gratitude Challenge: Day 19

Dori says...

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we create our world." - Buddha

I believe in the freedom of simplicity and power of choice. Conscious living takes for us to be fully aware of our thoughts and how they affect our present reality. When we are triggered to recall or re-experience especially traumatic events, we get into this whirlwind of gloominess and emotions get the best of us that if not recognized early on will catapult into paralyzing and trapping us in the dark spaces of our mind. Our view of everything around us becomes so twisted and gloomy that even our loved ones suffer from the negative energy, which could be remnants of the past not forgotten, and so it creates a resistance so strong it hinders the joy of the present moment.

I'm just glad we are more powerful than our emotions and our thoughts. It just takes for us to acknowledge and feel the hurtful emotion and let go of it as quickly as possible and let healing take its natural course.

I believe in love and every good thing that comes with it - peace, joy, prosperity and harmony. For these beliefs I hold on to, I am grateful.

Auj says...

It is through my growing years that bit by bit, I begin to understand why my mom is seen as crazy by many once she starts talking about God, the Bible, the ultimate purpose. At one point, I must admit that I was tempted to be like the rest who would want to laugh at my mom as if she looks like the insane street people who keeps on saying with their placards, "It's The End of The World! It's The End Of The World!"

But now, I completely understand. And I am grateful for the gift of anointing she may have always prayed to the Lord for me to have. Even without me asking for it.

Today, I would like to thank the Lord for putting that choice in my heart to read His words again. Amazingly, his personal way of conversing with me never fails. For the past several days, I became deeper. More than I was ever before. And there's just no stopping for hope. At least, things are more clear now. That He knows my pleas -- the people in my life that I cannot let go, the emotions I am privileged to experience to make me ever as tough, and the courage of the heart to stand my ground even when everyone else decides to move around.

The Lord's mighty message to me this morning:

Lamentations 3 (New Living Translation)

Hope in the Lord’s Faithfulness

1 I am the one who has seen the afflictions

that come from the rod of the Lord’s anger.

2 He has led me into darkness,

shutting out all light.

3 He has turned his hand against me

again and again, all day long.

4 He has made my skin and flesh grow old.

He has broken my bones.

5 He has besieged and surrounded me

with anguish and distress.

6 He has buried me in a dark place,

like those long dead.

7 He has walled me in, and I cannot escape.

He has bound me in heavy chains.

8 And though I cry and shout,

he has shut out my prayers.

9 He has blocked my way with a high stone wall;

he has made my road crooked.

10 He has hidden like a bear or a lion,

waiting to attack me.

11 He has dragged me off the path and torn me in pieces,

leaving me helpless and devastated.

12 He has drawn his bow

and made me the target for his arrows.

13 He shot his arrows

deep into my heart.

14 My own people laugh at me.

All day long they sing their mocking songs.

15 He has filled me with bitterness

and given me a bitter cup of sorrow to drink.

16 He has made me chew on gravel.

He has rolled me in the dust.

17 Peace has been stripped away,

and I have forgotten what prosperity is.

18 I cry out, “My splendor is gone!

Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!”

19 The thought of my suffering and homelessness

is bitter beyond words.[a]

20 I will never forget this awful time,

as I grieve over my loss.

21 Yet I still dare to hope

when I remember this:

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends![b]

His mercies never cease.

23 Great is his faithfulness;

his mercies begin afresh each morning.

24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;

therefore, I will hope in him!”

25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,

to those who search for him.

26 So it is good to wait quietly

for salvation from the Lord.

27 And it is good for people to submit at an early age

to the yoke of his discipline:

28 Let them sit alone in silence

beneath the Lord’s demands.

29 Let them lie face down in the dust,

for there may be hope at last.

30 Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike them

and accept the insults of their enemies.

31 For no one is abandoned

by the Lord forever.

32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion

because of the greatness of his unfailing love.

33 For he does not enjoy hurting people

or causing them sorrow.

34 If people crush underfoot

all the prisoners of the land,

35 if they deprive others of their rights

in defiance of the Most High,

36 if they twist justice in the courts—

doesn’t the Lord see all these things?

37 Who can command things to happen

without the Lord’s permission?

38 Does not the Most High

send both calamity and good?

39 Then why should we, mere humans, complain

when we are punished for our sins?

40 Instead, let us test and examine our ways.

Let us turn back to the Lord.

41 Let us lift our hearts and hands

to God in heaven and say,

42 “We have sinned and rebelled,

and you have not forgiven us.

43 “You have engulfed us with your anger, chased us down,

and slaughtered us without mercy.

44 You have hidden yourself in a cloud

so our prayers cannot reach you.

45 You have discarded us as refuse and garbage

among the nations.

46 “All our enemies

have spoken out against us.

47 We are filled with fear,

for we are trapped, devastated, and ruined.”

48 Tears stream from my eyes

because of the destruction of my people!

49 My tears flow endlessly;

they will not stop

50 until the Lord looks down

from heaven and sees.

51 My heart is breaking

over the fate of all the women of Jerusalem.

52 My enemies, whom I have never harmed,

hunted me down like a bird.

53 They threw me into a pit

and dropped stones on me.

54 The water rose over my head,

and I cried out, “This is the end!”

55 But I called on your name, Lord,

from deep within the pit.

56 You heard me when I cried, “Listen to my pleading!

Hear my cry for help!”

57 Yes, you came when I called;

you told me, “Do not fear.”

58 Lord, you are my lawyer! Plead my case!

For you have redeemed my life.

59 You have seen the wrong they have done to me, Lord.

Be my judge, and prove me right.

60 You have seen the vengeful plots

my enemies have laid against me.

61 Lord, you have heard the vile names they call me.

You know all about the plans they have made.

62 My enemies whisper and mutter

as they plot against me all day long.

63 Look at them! Whether they sit or stand,

I am the object of their mocking songs.

64 Pay them back, Lord,

for all the evil they have done.

65 Give them hard and stubborn hearts,

and then let your curse fall on them!

66 Chase them down in your anger,

destroying them beneath the Lord’s heavens.

..if you'd know my struggles for the past few days, then you would know God really speaks.. but only when we stay quiet for a while.

:)

Gratitude Challenge: Day 18

Dori says...

For the gorgeous soul in you.

Your empathic heart.

The unfathomable commonsense and sense of humor you possess.

For your unquenchable thirst for knowledge and wisdom.

Your quiet resolve amidst the restless storms of life.

The amicable style you handle contradictions.

Your flair in creativity and artistry.

For being a reservoir of joy.

Nothing is as witty as the way you conquer and challenge yourself and make the most of whatever is handed to you.

You see things in all of its perspectives and give it meaningful disposition.

You won't settle for mediocrity and wouldn't give up easily in aiming for what's upright, which you rightfully deserve.

You are a defender of the bullied, an uplifter of the defeated, and a healer of the broken spirit.

I hope this gives justice in describing how lovable you are. To encapsulate you in one word, charming is an underestimate.. astounding is.

Most of all, you now exactly know when milk is good for you and when it's time for beer.

Cheers to maturing ahead of your time! I am so proud to be part of your everyday and a witness to your beautiful unfolding. I am ever more grateful because of your love that refreshes like a long-awaited rain on a dry summer's day.

Auj says...

I have been doing this 100 things/reasons about you for the past week of why I love you in and between work. And here goes:

1. You accept me entirely as I am.

2. You would risk your being naturally frugal just to make me happy. I sense that. *lol

3. You make me feel so much loved that I get to accept easily my own imperfections.

4. You never fail to make me a wake-up coffee in the morning.

5. You value my thoughts and opinions.

6. You are willing to arrange the bed before I go to sleep and after I wake up.

7. You fight your own fears as long as it is for the relationship's survival.

8. You give me a good massage everytime you sense that I am overworked.

9. You laugh at my jokes.

10. You have a unique pair of eyes. It is either you look as if you lack so much sleep or you simply overslept.

11. You pick the hairs that grow out of my arm pit.

12. You stay calm and never show any sign of worry each time I get sick.

13. You can tolerate my mother.

14. You can tolerate my crazy family.

15. You listen unceasingly to my deepest rants and raves.

16. You always remind me how it is to be kind.

17. You always drive me to destinations that I need to be in.

18. You appreciate my love for books, movies and music.

19. You cook like a true cook. *deliciosa *raises a scorecard of 10

20. You drink hard with me, even if it gets you drunk too.

21. You appreciate my being weird.

22. You act cute like a little kid when you want some good amount of attention from me.

23. You try not to appear or sound biased but you still always make me feel that you take my side.

24. You forgive easy unlike me.

25. You make me feel listened to.

26. Your huge appetite keeps me healthy. *LOL

27. You listen attentively to weird and eccentric dreams at night that I tell to you in the morning.

28. You are the more balanced version of myself.

29. You've erased your fears to try.

30. We get scared together.

31. You encourage me by giving me strength.

32. You try hard being cruel. *lol

33.

34

35

36

37

38

.

..

...

....

.....

......

You know this is never easy once you get to try. Then suddenly I thought I just want to make this list endless for as long as we are together. This time, I am not putting an end to things. ;)

Kontsatsulations!

P.S.

For others, moving forward might mean that the more time you spend together, the more pain of the past you would have to endure. But for us, moving forward would mean more time to recall all the wonderful memories we have had made together. I can say that the best and most unforgettable moments of my life were spent with you.

So here's to the space I once devoted to you which shows the rest of my gratefulness of having you in my life -- Reader By Night.

Gratitude Challenge: Day 17

“I learned just enough in school to figure out that everything is not all there is to know.”

Dori says...

Today I am most grateful about Auj's gift to Pio of a new appliance, a study table and chair combo. Now Pio has a specific place he can call his own in addition to his mobile home (the tent where he plays and watches TV during daytime and sleeping at night).

This gives me renewed faith and that there is hope after all for Pio to at least be motivated to study at home and have an interest in schooling. It will indeed be a glorious day when he finally learns to read fluently.

The table, though, is multi-functional. See how eating, playing and learning ABCs can be incorporated in such a small space :D.

Thank you for being such a Dharma in our lives and for treating Pio like your own. You make my life so poignantly sweet.

Muchos gracias Tita Auj. You make my life joyfully bittersweet. - Pio

Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you.

- Henri Frederick Amiel

Auj says...

I want to be grateful today for work. Yes, it has been such an exhausting week but no matter tired I get, there must really be something different when you love the work that you are doing. And when you are particularly good at it. The fruits of this labor reaches out to more people than I can imagine. It enables me to raise a so-called 7 year old son who knows how to claim his benefits from me everytime he is home and to family and a few friends that always make me feel needed, even if it is merely about finances.

I learn a lot from working. Not just because I write about a wide array of topics each day, but because I learn a lot about others and myself. Who would ever thought online freelance writing would be God's major means of blessing me? And now that I have embraced this line of work, each day, each month, and each year is a brand new one I look forward to.

I am grateful that my work pushes me to try. And in one point in the middle of the way, I learn to decide on not failing. To choose to succeed always. I learned in this career that the probability of succeeding gets greater when there is less safety nets in place. This very concept keeps me grounded and lets me aim for the higher cliffs. Survival will always kick in.

Most of us only learn from our mistakes just when the bubble had already burst in our faces. I am really not sure how I would describe the interesting points that get inside my brain everyday which makes me decide on how I would want something to happen, and it happens. All I know is that when you think deep inside you that you are doubtful and unsure, then everything about you in your life would surely agree on the same concept.

As always, like what the experts say in self-help books, it does not matter how you will get to your desired destination. All that matters is knowing that you will get to that place, no matter what happens, no matter what it takes. When we free ourselves of excuses, we eradicate all the heavy weight of indecision.

And then, just like me, you'll reach a point where success becomes inevitable. And that you are just waiting for the right time when it finally takes place.

Gratitude Challenge: Day 16

"Eto Aujan ang mahiwagang salamin sa harap mo. Ano ang nakikita mo?" - Boy

Auj says...

No matter how much I claim of knowing myself well enough, I still find it too daunting to talk or write about myself. What's more, the good points about me. If I would follow the gratitude challenge by the letter today, then this might sound all too boring, for I have never really seen or imagined myself as like those who are truly headturners.

Hence, I would just choose to make this short and live up to the instructions for today, still, at least, by making a message for myself:

"I would like to congratulate you for a job well done. Others may not be aware of it, but the mark of your tired eyes is everything that makes it all too worthy for you.

Thank God for your pimple-free face even without the regular facials. It reminds you of your stressful days that make you feel grateful of how they have been all gone and over.

No matter how others say that you won't live long for your ears are too small, just think that everything would be just fine. Everyone dies in time anyway. And if you ever die ahead of everybody else you know, I am sure you would have already lived most of your life and did already what you have ought to do.

No matter how weird looking your extra toe can be, it will always be a point of envy for others. Why? It is one proof that you deserve a life of luxury that just like your delicate extra toe, you cannot and should not settle for just anything ordinary. To provide for its comfort demands time, patience and a high cost. Just like you.

I wish you had smoother soles though. If this is your own 'catch', then maybe you were really some kind of a farmer in another life.

But I think you're funny and that you are okay. Really you are. Try not to forget about it. Do not worry too much about being a wreck. Always remember to believe in love, to never get too hokey, to take care of yourself and to not be a f*cking pedestal bitch. I love you and care about you."

I am grateful to have heard from myself that she loves me. It's been a long time. :)

Dori says...

This challenge I call Vanity Day since it calls for looking in front of the mirror and reflecting on 5 things I appreciate about myself. When I did actually take a look while chopping garlic and onions (since the only big mirror we have is placed right at the sink), I made a laughable, really huge smile and felt grateful that I still have most of my teeth intact even though they seem to be talking back saying a visit to the dentist would be a great idea for some oral prophylaxis and a few permanent filling. They're way better off than having dentures which I might misplace and Pio mistake it as a toy, put on his mouth, and eventually destroy. Just the thought makes me shudder.

I then looked at my eyes. Nothing to appreciate much especially in the morning when they look like quarter moons and my eyelids are still lazily hanging over each other, my eyes peaking through the tiny slit. What I am thankful for, though, is I still have 20/20 vision even with a decade past of being in front of the computer and straining them at work. Good that I love carrots and pumpkins and anything orange.

My hair? What can I ask for? They require the least of my attention as they fall in the right places and even if they don't, they still look fine especially now that morning look is in and thanks to Lady Gaga, bangs rule.

I have two moles on my face right on the nose which my late Aunt Remy told me was good luck for business. I held on to that insight since then and I guess subliminally prepared me for the little businesses I have tried before including the foot pedal venture.

Lastly, I am glad for this wonderfully made body frame that Auj thinks is cute and a lot warmer to hug. I am working on it, though, really now. :p

Gratitude Challenge: Day 15

I am too busy to even think about what I cannot do. There is so much more that I can do and have to do. -Auj Lazaro

I have always been interested with reading biographies without slipping on the usual mistakes of imitating how they have lived their lives' destinies. In fact, I have been recently being engrossed with watching the old episodes of Inside The Actors' Studio through YouTube.

So I thought of answering James Lipton's famous ten questions that are known to define better the real person inside all of us.

Here's my take on those ten:

1. What is your favorite word?

>> Shine.

2. What is your least favorite word?

>> curse.

3. What turns you on?

>> An astounding level of confidence that is so great, it influences me.

4. What turns you off?

>> A know-it-all. Useless for an opinion.

5. What is your favorite curse word?

>> Shit.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

>> Cheering of crowds.. gives me good goosebumps.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

>> A loud cry in agony. A wail.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

>> A farmer.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

>> An engineer.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

>> "Finally.. you have arrived."

I have answered more tests after this set of ten. Here are the results:

And to hear from other people, the best descriptions I got were ironically from those whom I have always disagreed greatly with in the past:

IB Balicanta said:

They say, The sensed absence of Aujan and her sensed presence amount to much of the same thing, only in reverse. You start to hum. Aujan rises like a Phoenix from a burning pyre on the beach..

My Humanidades professor from UP said:

As shakespeare would have put it if he had as much talent as me "Verily, aujan is an utterly knockout"...

By the way, I think IB is close to being alcoholic and that professor is gay.. talk about making sense. *lol*

But here's the best description of myself if I would take it from the length of time I have seen myself in a whole new different view being soaked in Dori's love:

I think I am something more convoluted and ultimately private. But there is something that we know about each other that nobody else can ever capture. The essence of a delicate time full of ardor. I am simply at my best always when I am with her.

:)

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” - Dr. Seuss

Dori says...

I am..

a believer of giving back and paying it forward.

a lover of nature, thus hearing the trees speaking, the water whispering, and the flowers chit-chatting.

a traveler, a wanderer, an adventurer, enjoying every life journey.

an advocate of peace, creativeness and simplicity.

a worry-freak-at-times optimist, ironic it is.

an affectionate partner who's ready to listen, understand and learn the intricasy of love.

a mom-at-work, getting a grip on motherhood and raising a school-age kid who does not want to go to school.

a striving cook who can concoct edible-enough dishes that will challenge the palate.

a daughter who's assisting her mom into joyful geezerhood.

a supportive sibling who's willing to lend an extra hand.

a warm friend on a winter day.

a witness to the Lord's mighty grace and provision.

a wonderful creation of the Almighty who's trying everyday to give Him back all the glory.

Self-awareness is freedom. It leads us to a purposeful existence and to create updated versions of ourselves. All it takes is for us to be open and accepting, saying Yes to life.

Gratitude Challenge: Day 14

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."

- Albert Schweitzer

Dori says...

It's not that we find being grateful a drag, it's even the contrary, but this challenge has taken us already two months instead of two weeks so far simply because we cannot put into words precisely how overwhelming people and events become especially now that our gratitude eyes are widely open. But then again, the cynical would say I'm just making a justifiable excuse here.

Excuses. We're so full of them. They say it's the key to failure when you find leeways and extensions a constant companion and that's true enough. In transcription, we were taught if you want to be an excellent transcriptionist, you have to do it right the first time, always. This means your output quality is such that it can go straight to the client without the need to pass through an editor or a second person. Realistically and applying it as a life principle in general, this is a tough act to do on a daily basis, but people who excel do tend to rise above that challenge and win themselves the price of being extraordinary. Of course, this would definitely also entail wising up and guarding against the works of the devil, namely sloth, greed, pride and the other deadly sins.

So on with this challenge and on with leading exemplary lives by going back to basics, loving generously and giving of ourselves at all times possible, kicking away excuses. Love is, after all, the reason that we were created, right?

And here's the image depicting the outlier in Auj.. I love her for this. \m/

Belated Valentine's 'ya all ;-).. and Melai, you rock, on with girl power and being so out of the ordinary!

Auj says...

For everything that I am and I am going to be.

To live and enjoy giving.

To be indebted of a thousand influences.

To the miraculous creation of my being – the million transformations and creative energies.

For the roof over my head.

For everyone who supported when I still did not know better.

For the scars that have left me to be a better person.

For the truth that I exist.

For the loving source of the Lord behind everything.

For the beauty around me that is immaculate.

For the opportunity to feel complete.

For the poorest of times which made me feel rich.

For the small comforts of my everyday.

For forgiveness.

For the underlying belief that everything exists for good.

For carrying on to live through so much pain and embrace life all over again.

For the cornerstones of love and peace and joy.

For the communication lines with my Creator.

For Dori's reciprocation of love.

For the quality of work.

For the depth of my experiences.

For the orchestration of God’s masterplan.

For all these, I am grateful.

Being grateful refined my capacity to love and live; and develop the power within myself that no one else can posses but me. This particular gift of the Lord is the very thing that makes me laugh, write, cry, speak, live and love without any inhibition.

These make food taste better, burdens lighter, and colors brighter. And I know that for as long as I would keep my focus on these things, this seed of gratitude will expand and attract more blessings and prosperity in my life.

This is the essence of all that this gratitude challenge has to offer.

I am grateful.

Gratitude Challenge: Day 13

A mother's touch can soothe a thousand aches. She's the world's best guide when your feet are all grown.

Dori says...

I come from a big family, but now as I'm adding more years into my cap, I'm realizing that at the end of the day, it does not matter if you have a dozen kids or just one. I've seen the pattern from my own parents and my siblings as their children leave home in search of that elusive joy of finding themselves and settling on their own.

The thing is we all grow up whether we like it or not, by voluntary decision or forced by neglected circumstances. By then, even without realizing it, change changes us and we grow mature, hopefully. If not, we have to ready ourselves for just a vicious cycle of life lessons slapped on our face until we finally get it.

I know I'm supposed to reflect on three family members or friends for this day's challenge, but nanay is like a 3-in-1 package worth all the acclaim and honoring for a life well lived. I am a privileged witness to how nanay went through tough family challenges and managed to raise 5 uniquely different children the best way she could. She barely finished school, but she dreamt bigger for us and realized that by sending us all to college with her meager income as a dressmaker which she had been doing since she was 16. I'd be so blessed to inherit her faithful resilience, even just half of it.

Nanay now lives independently and I cease not praying that she never feel alone or lonely even if she's left by herself as all of us her children have come to live on our own but never apart from her. She will always be revered as the mother who reflected the Lord's goodness and unfailing love.

Yes, I am 100% mama's girl. :-)

Whenever you reap your harvest in your field and leave some unraked grain there, you must not return to get it; it should go to the resident foreigner, orphan, and widow so that the Lord your God may bless all the work you do. - Deu 24:19

Auj says..

Yes, it is like getting married and raising children. It is as tough as that.

I experienced early on how hard it is to live with some stranger you fell in love with under one roof. Share in one bed. Eat in one table. And all that concept of trying your best to live with people who you never knew as family (but would eventually turn out to be your family) appearing too daunting always made me stop believing in getting married.

It is hard to tie people's differences to have a more peaceful setting to live in everyday. It's hard to keep everyone from balancing well so that our boat would not capsize. Or worse, to keep anyone from jumping off the boat.

I have had my own share of being at both ends. During the days when I was still staying with my family, I was a witness to endless count of people we have welcomed in our home to render them a refreshing start and an all new take on their lives. When I started wandering on my own, I became the stranger seeking a portion of shelter in others' homes. And now, that I have been blessed with a pad that is good enough to give me peace, I now act as the owner of my home.

It is never a bliss to keep up with any of Dori's, Pio's and Balbs' sudden tantrum syndromes. But it is with these people that the Lord has given me this home. And everyday, my joy rises over their human frailties reflecting my own. In reality, all four of us are God's orphans. It is not just Pio. And I rejoice over this fact knowing that God blesses the orphans who have no other person to depend on but God and the works of His Hands upon ours.

Everyday I learn from them without them even knowing it. And by this time, each time they would wonder how the hell do I get to know a lot of things, I hope they would realize it was because of them too -- and that I work hard for them too aside from just making my salary day a fulfilled 'Praxedes Lazaro Day'.

I promised the Lord before He gave me this home that I would treat the people who would live with me with utmost respect, love and patience. That I won't ever be rude and impatient. But instead, I would always fill the home with words that would heal and not hurt. That I will never treat people who would enter my home the distorted ways I was welcomed in numerous other homes I have been in my whole lifetime.

This is the House of the Lord. The Lord treats the people who live in it with extra care. I will too. :)

Gratitude Challenge: Day 12

"You can handle anything if you think you can. Just keep your cool and your sense of humor."

- Smiley Blanton

Auj says...

Lately, I have been trying my best to keep myself calm. Today, I had the chance before I took my siesta nap to think about how I have been in the past -- how irritable I can get and how mad I can be when I am angry; that I sometimes reach the point of wanting to tear all that my hands can touch and scream on top of my lungs until no more sound comes out.

Today, as the challenge goes, instead of putting my focus on everyone and everything that surrounds me, I focused on myself. I hate myself when I release my anger in the wrong way. When I feel stressed or irritated, I put a 'bang' on things. But weeks ago, something came to me and changed something in me to push me to stay calm even in the midst of complete exasperation. Anointing fall on me. I want to share a few of my personal tips on how I have been winning over my dark shaded side:

I started a zero-tolerance policy on my temper. I have the power to change my moods. For good.

To think that not everything can go well in each day. And so I remain ready for everything.

Starting my day right. Waking early, cleaning up, having coffee, working early.

My regular routine for Bible reading and quiet time, each time everyone else is still sleeping.

Taking few, very DEEP breaths, to reduce my stress level. Similar to being a singer, diaphragmatic breathing helps a lot.

Visualizing myself as cool and calm all the time.

To steer away from catastrophizing. And this involves resisting the temptation to make things blow out of proportion.

I distract myself. As much as possible, I try to laugh at the situation. I'd rather use humor more in my life, for my own advantage. For my own health's sake. :)

To accept that I have no other choice but to cope.

And then, I fell asleep. One of the sweetest naps I had after I've put in my hardest on a long week that just passed. Oh yes, I work weekends. You can say that again. *lol

Dori says...

I just woke up. I still woke up. I am awake. I am awakened. I am alive. That means I have to prepare being surprised by the Lord and try having a purposeful existence today. Today. Not any yesterdays or tomorrows.

Since it's also the first day of February, a brand new month, I am making an oath to steer a million miles away from any anxious thought (it does not add up any day in my life anyway if I worry). And with Auj emerging as an improved 'Inday' every morning (she has transformed into this mop-loving and fragrantly cleaning addict) which she told me is some form of ritual she does as an offering and/or sacrifice for a huge request she is asking from the Lord, and which I find truly humbling and admirable; Pio adjusting so well with her bummer life switching from three homes of his choice and not giving me enough stress to take Valium or any tranquilizer; and Nanay peacefully embracing her senility through a consortium of emotional brigade my siblings and I have come up with, life is good!

I am also a big fan of random acts of kindness and I am often guilty of bombarding the Lord with requests of enormously blessing me so that I can be freer to do not random but His constant acts of kindness. To reflect His goodness, that should be our daily purpose.

Love is denied expression by poverty. May this thought unceasingly fuel our desire in striving to outwit and create better versions of ourselves every time we wake up for a brand new day and honestly say I AM AWAKE AND AWAKENED.. I AM ALIVE.

Gratitude Challenge: Day 11

Auj says...

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

~Pablo Picasso

Yes, I still do get rejected once in a while with my writing stints. In fact, here's the most recent one that did not pass the standards of one of my finicky clients:

"I was born to a family of artists. With that fact alone, I can be considered an eccentric and not the usual type of kid who plays the usual types of games. The bottom line is that I was different. I was never the type of child who can’t wait to get out in the afternoon after taking an afternoon siesta just to play hopscotch or tag with the neighbours. So instead, I was in the company of Ladybird books, globes, maps, coloring books and painting sets.

I have always thought that the reason behind all this was that my mother was a very busy and in-demand career woman who never really had enough time for the kids. She was more preoccupied with how to provide for the entire family and meet the needs of everyone, most especially me. Hence, I was always left with my grandparents and uncles who taught me my first childhood games.

My first uncle who was a painter occupied my mornings with short painting classes. He taught me how it was to mix colors to be able to come up with a new set of hues. I was in love with drawing landscapes and painting them to look like they are real. My most favorite ones were the meadows where I imagine myself biking around and blowing on the tiny flower trinkets.

Another of my uncles pushed me into boyish sports. He taught me at a young age of six to box, perform karate and play basketball. However, it became all too rough for my weak body that my mom discouraged any of it for me to pursue. But above all, it was with my grandfather whom I enjoyed playing with the most each time he would spin the globe fast and afterwards ask me to point out a certain continent or country.

All these childhood games I was used to playing are surely not that normal but it all helped me to be somehow like a wonder kid apart from the intelligence enhancing milk products then. It taught me how to read early and end up as tourism major when I reached college. I even think it played a big part of my life right now as a writer."

And just like an obedient child who learns her lessons in life well, I would always remember how Dori taught me to appreciate how it is to be a child all over again, each time I would stumble, fall and hurt others or myself -- that I should stand up, say sorry, and promise to never do it again.

However, making promises is another topic. It is what we learn more about when we get to the age of 8 or so. ;))

I miss being a child. But I love being the me that grew from that child.

Dori says...

I surprisingly found this day's challenge leaving me blank and squeezed to come up with things to be grateful for looking at the world as a child. I wonder if it was because I've taken it upon myself to be in constant marvel in the littlest of everyday occurrences from taking a refreshing shower and smelling real nice and squeeky clean after, to taking a power nap on a comfy bed with cotton satin sheets, to swiftly going down 15 floors skipping the elevator as a cardio exercise, after which at the lobby 7-Eleven gloriously awaits 24/7 for an ice cream craving even in the middle of the night.

I did have a happy childhood where I was left to explore and simply be a kid at play, getting hurt here and there, stumbling from a rough play, having my knees and shoulders bruised from learning how to ride a bike, bonding with cousins who I grew up with and with whom I learned "bahay bahayan, taguan pu, and tumbang preso," and getting my butt spank often for staying too late out in the streets and looking like a "taong grasa" after a whole day's play.

I am blessed beyond measure, and so is everyone else. I have always had that heart and mindset. It only takes to consciously live in gratitude every single minute that pass us by and be in joyful awareness that children never have worry and stress in their vocabulary because of their trusting instincts. We can relive that child in us anytime, everytime. It's up to us. Besides, 21st century has gifted us already with Time Zone and other techy gadgets to be a kid at play and as a great outlet to become irresponsible and make a fool of ourselves sometimes :-).

Gratitude Challenge: Day 10

Dori says...

The first duty of love is to listen. - Paul Tillich

Listening is an attitude of the heart, an art form, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. - J. Isham

To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well and is as essential to all true conversation - Chinese Proverb

If I were to get an insurance coverage for any of my body parts, I guess that would be for my ears because my career relies upon my hearing acuity as a medical transcriptionist, to accurately decipher every bit of medical twang and avoid being sued for putting the wrong terms.

To listen to music, the sound of laughter, the noise of kids having fun and enjoying their youth, the ticking of the clock as time passes by, the splash of waves while strolling on the beach, the keyboard tapping with busy hands at work, the blowing of the wind on a hot summer night, the soft sound of sweet kisses.

These are just some of what we often take for granted and sometimes it takes only a minute of focusing so that we may truly appreciate the gift of hearing. Above all else, being silent and hearing the Lord especially in our quiet times is the best reward our ears can give us. If today nothing right is working for you, take delight in your senses and be grateful. It sure does give me a mood boost every time.

"I see the Lord..." -Ron Kenoly

Auj says...

My Abba Father,

Thank you for the gift of sight and the gift of touch that you have given me. Thank you for the privilege that I serve as witness to the way you start and end choreographing each day with the sunrise and the sunset.

Thank you for through these two senses, you are allowing me to enjoy the most beautiful of Your creations, seeing my loved ones and the physical blessings you have showered upon my life like my present shelter.

I am so grateful to You Lord for letting me use my sight to read Your words and thank You for always touching my hands to write.

Thank You Lord above all for the freedom to worship You anytime and anywhere; that I can meet You even in my own home work station each and every day.

Thank You for the gift of sight. Thank You for making me clearly see that I am richly blessed beyond measure and that sometimes it feels impossible enough to count all the ways that You have filled in my needs. And even my wants.

Thank You Lord for the anointing that You have given to my hands that I can write to You this way, with no hesitation, without any inhibition.

And each day, let me lavish in the vision that You have given me for my future. Thank You Lord that I am not blind to Your love for me.

I love You Abba Father, I love You Jesus, I love you Holy Spirit.

Amen.