‘The Noticer’, A Book Review

This book review has been long overdue and I know that it is still worth sharing. The Noticer is a moving story about a mysterious old man with the name of Jones. He paid a visit to the tiny Gulf coast town for a good number of years with the purpose of helping other people with their life’s problems by offering them a fresh ‘perspective’. Andy was one of those people. His life was completely turned around by the likable man from being an orphan to an amazing motivational speaker and author. 

The old man would somehow always show up at the perfect time, when the person needs it the most. He always wears jeans and a white t-shirt; and carries a brown leather suitcase. However, he disappears as fast as he came. Jones calls himself as ‘The Noticer’, henceforth, the title of the book. Andy Andrews, the author, wrote this book to give way and appreciation for the role that the old man played in his life and to make it a sure encouragement to others too. 

The book is written in a very intimate narrative that would make you feel by its end that you have met Jones yourself. It offers pragmatic and genuine advice that anyone, like you, can use all the more in meeting different kinds of people in your life and be able to build stronger relationships. 

As part of the Noticer Project of the author, it would be reflective to think and ‘notice’ on your own the top five most influential people in your life. Who are they?

Lessons In Life I See Myself Learning Ten Years After

Ten years from now, I will be in my own resort house writing my own books with the view of my own farm. When I grow older, I’d like to tend plants and harvest a variety of crops which would also lead to giving opportunities for people to have work. Ten years from now, I do not want to work hard for the money anymore but instead I would want it to work hard for me. 

By that time, I would like to remember looking back at this post and seeing it true that these will be the major lessons I have learned in the span of that time frame.

How it is to let go. I am sure that when I look back at my twenties, I will not be able to tell the number of times I got angry or frustrated with a person. I will learn that when we get to feel bad over someone or something, we waste time and energy on that negative energy while blocking the positive energy to come into our lives instead.

Do not take things personal for it’s often not about you. I will remember and learn that when others do hurtful things to me, oftentimes it is not about me. In this world, people has a great deal of issues to tackle and when they become incapable of handling these issues, they would project these to you.

Persistence pays off well. I will remember by then that I was persistent in everything I do which means I was busy building daily deposits to my future while the rest are just spending time surfing the Internet or watching the television.

Relationships are great teachers. When you get into a relationship, you see a clear reflection of yourself which in our subconscious is the reflection of our own needs, biases and insecurities. I will learn that it is true when they say you never really get to know real hurt unless you have had your own heart broken in a relationship.

Enjoy everything to its utmost. I will learn that I will be grateful to look back in my twenties without having any feeling of regret with anything that I may have wanted to do and experience in my life. I will never put off things tomorrow that are actually due for today. And that includes not just work, but also happiness, without making a mess out of others’ lives.

Relationships 101 Is Out: Partnership 101 Is In

Partnership. This has been the term I have constantly attached to the word ‘relationship’ since I met Dori. Apart from the fact that I never really made it well with my past so-called ‘relationships’, I learned with the person that I am with now the more solid values that serve as keys to a successful relationship. It is quite unnerving to be always asked why I am still single and give me that dubious look of what I am up to. But never was I moved especially when I always ponder of how much luckier I see myself than the others my age who are either too young to have kids and too old to be flirting around still. 

I learned through time that it does not matter how much you would view a relationship to be but to see it as a breathable avenue for dynamism and growth. I may have failed before a few times and so, because I have not been fully aware of the characteristics that I need to take the time to appreciate and learn. 

With honesty, trust, communication, respect, resolution of conflict, responsibility, being your real selves, romance and humor, you can definitely see the bright light of a successful relationship shining through you. Respect and humor are often the underrated characteristics but in reality, play a huge impact on what we make out of the relationships we are in. 

I still get the usual question of when I would get married or when will I have my own kids. I am yet to reach my thirties, but I don’t give a damn. I’d always wish to be the person that I am now rather than be a slouchy housewife too busy with her kids and husband to even remember herself still. Or be a striving single mom who works hard for the money alone just for mere survival. 

I am happy. That is what relationships should make you feel so. That’s what’s important. 

Are You 100% Authentic To Yourself and Your Relationship?

For two straight days now, we have been closely watching how Shalani Soledad would do as the co-host of Willie Revillame. For months now, it has been one of the leading topics of every Filipino of what caused the breakup between Shalani and President Noynoy. According to news snippets, PNoy missed Shalani’s pilot episodes and wished her well for her newfound endeavor. Above all these, there is one thing I have to say: regardless of the fact of being public figures, both should be authentic to one’s self. 

To be authentic matters a lot for a relationship to survive. Authenticity is being true to yourself to be true to others. 

Oftentimes, miscommunication becomes the stumbling block in every relationship. And the simple reason why we were not able to give a lucid message is because we are not clear ourselves. For example, you are in a relationship that you think has no future anymore. Then decide for yourself to not extend what is inevitable. ‘No more drama’ as what Mary J. Blige says in one of her songs. It takes a lot of bravery for a confrontation but it will render you a lot of new lessons to learn in life that would bring you closer to yourself even if it means being apart from another person.

Just like in any other aspect of your life that you think is not working anymore, what you have to do is unfasten yourself from it. If it is a clear message that you want to give, then remember that your actions and words must match. Feelings of sadness, fear, bravery, and triumph are all needed to bring you that sense of authenticity that you need for yourself.

In the end, you find something much better that awaits you.

With that, I hope Shalani would improve in the coming days as a host and realize that she exudes the aura of a depressed, love-sick girl who was left behind even if she tries to cover it. Lighten up! :)

And I hope the President would start asking for his PR team to have a strategy on how to keep his love life in private. Honestly, it sounds cheap to hear that most of the news you would hear about our president would be who he is dating next. 

Thanks to Willie. The presence of Shalani as his new co-host mattered more to majority of Filipinos even if Korina Sanchez and Noli de Castro were sent back to anchor TV Patrol.

We Are In Love

It was just last Saturday when we met him. And at first sight, we fell head over heels for him. He is all that you would look in a guy.. smart, funny, adorable and ‘macho’. His name? Attack. He is our newest pet male pug.

Many think that having a pet is a very easy thing to do especially when you think about the joy and love it can bring to you. But it really entails a lot of accountability when you get to take care of one. And what most somehow disregard are the life and relationship skills that we can learn from taking care of a pet.

Being Responsible

Your pet is counting on you to render whatever it is that they need. Feeding and grooming them are just two of the things that can deepen your relationship with each other.

Consistency

It really takes a lot of patience to be consistent with training your pet to do the right things around the home. Just like in life, it teaches you that all these can really pay off in the end.

Setting Goals

It teaches you how to set goals with a time frame especially when you want to teach them some tricks or maybe as a simple as house training. 

Becoming a Good Communicator

Having a pet will teach you how to express your feelings well since you need to talk to your pet and show mush every once in a while.

Above all, there is kindness. To have a pet is one effective way to practice kindness and compassion, especially when it finally gets to you that you should treat it just the same as you would treat your dearest friends and family.

Vanessa Carlton Comes Out

Who does not know the hit song ‘A Thousand Miles’ and the lovely pop singer/piano player behind it? It was just during the Nashville Pride event when she declared herself as a proud bisexual. Several other readers confirmed this at an LGBT site. Carlton performed at the Pride Festival which was joined in by over 18,000. According to some of the attendees, Carlton sang one of her hit songs ‘Ordinary Day’ and switched ‘him’ and ‘her’ which means she has been singing the song for a boy or girl, or even for a transgender. In the past, Carlton was linked to John Mayer and Stephan Jenkins. 

It was in 2002 when the Grammy nominated singer earned the ‘Record of the Year’ in 2002 for ‘A Thousand Miles’. She made a major career move in 2006 by making collaboration with Irv Gotti and The Inc., which pushed the careers of hip hop artists like Ashanti and Ja Rule. In 2007, she released ‘Heroes and Thieves’ as her third album.

As to details of her relationships, we have yet to know. What do you say? Is she hot still or not?

For the Commitment Phobics

I used to have a problem with sustaining intimate relationships. A lot of psychological tests I have taken before say I have commitment issues. Many studies say it could be traced back to my childhood days when I have always seen the woman in the family as the stronger persona than the males. I used to blame the relationship itself.

But through time I learned that I am the only one responsible to make the difference in a particular relationship. I felt that when I became open and ready for commitments, my criteria expanded and I became more specific. I gradually discovered what would work for me after all the times I have had my heart broken or suffered in relationships that I can never even count as the ‘relationship’. In short, there are truly good rewards behind every lesson learned.

We must understand that when we start understanding our own hearts, we learn how to forgive and be compassionate. And it is only by this time, that we can offer such to another person without disregarding to take care of ourselves. Suddenly, you learn how to share your innermost feelings to just one person and regard it as honorable to stand by each other’s word. You have gained sufficient self esteem that you know already that it is better to walk away than hurt someone knowingly.

Believe me. If you do not like yourself and for as long as you are never comfortable with your own skin, then you will never ever be able to learn how to commit. It would continue to seem that the right person still has not come yet for you. When the truth of the matter is, you are the one who is not being right with yourself.

Are you in a relationship? What are your preferences? Remember that the properties or financial wealth of another person do not complete the equation in you. For when the lights go out at the end of each day, there is just the two of you and it is commitment and love that would bind you.